For many years, kaizers.no had a fan mail function where you could send in questions directly to Kaizers Orchestra. Kaizers would then go through these questions more or less regularly and answer them - sometimes seriously, sometimes with rather little content, sometimes mostly sarcastic ... but always in an entertaining way!

And since these answers are way too valuable to be lost forever, I dug through all the internet archives to find them again. And starting on September 14, 2016, you will get to read a new - resp. old - batch of answers here twice a week, for a full year. Enjoy!



2003-09-08 13:45:05 - skrev/wrote :
Hvis man skulle begynne å mase om sånt liksom. Det heter ikke "pumporgan" heller. Ikke at jeg vet hva det heter men hvertfall ikke det.

Men who cares ikkke sant? Tyskere og hollendere kan ikke engelsk uansett.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Det heter pumporgan, saa shut up med deg.
2003-09-08 13:43:22 - skrev/wrote Carline:
Wow!
I went to the Burgerweeshuis in Deventer to see you guys, and that was very, well let's just say incredibly cool... the next day i had to work in a bar at Zinin festival (Utrecht) but needless to say that during Kaizers i just left the bar to the thers and went up front again... I really love this band!

(ow, and, if you ever wonder where the used oil drums go after you leave, i have my TV standing on one now.... :) )
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Cool, take care of it will you.
2003-09-08 13:42:15 - skrev/wrote Bert Beekman:
Hello !

I was at your concert in Utrecht / Holland (the Zinin festival).
Saw you people for the first time. Great great great performance !!
How do I become a CD with your songs ?
Please let me know asap. Greetings from Zwolle Holland !!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
How to become a cd? Maybe if you swollow the red pill, we don't know, we're not scientists.
2003-09-08 13:40:08 - skrev/wrote Eg:
Offdå.. ikkje møje som skjer på siå dåkkårs fortiå..Kossen går det me dåkkår? Me savne dåkkår dypt! Dessuten har eg visst gått glypp av møje, ska gnom pladå slippas ud? Tøft, for eg har bare ein brent eg..hrmf! Ha ein fortsatt fin turne! Ps Eg e FOR Live-CD! :-D

Mvh Meg
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Ting skjer mest paa engelsk siden for tiden, for obvious reasons.
2003-09-08 13:36:56 - skrev/wrote Mario:
I have been to all 3 concerts in Holland, Lowlands, Deventer (you played just around the corner from where i live) and Tilburg and it was superb. Can't wait to buy the new record. Thanx a lot and good luck with the rest of the tour!

Mario.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Check the album. It's good shit.
2003-09-08 13:36:08 - skrev/wrote Bernd and Mireille:
This must mean much to you: so much fanmail from Holland. And you deserve this.

We saw you for the first time at the Danish Midtfyns Festival by coincidence and thought: mmm, we'd like to see them if they are going to play in Holland. And you did. At the Lowlands Festival we missed you (ehm, we had to wait for a call to go on stage with Saybia).

But at the Zinin Festival in Utrecht we had the change to see you perform again. We are curious what you must have thought: such a rotten stage, where nobody was save, because everything was shaking and moving! But we had a great time. Okay, the time wasn't okay and the crowd didn't get that wild, but it was absolutely amazing!!!
And then tonight in 013!! That was even better!! The crowd really went wild this time. Well, we didn't like the girls in front of the stage, because that's not us. But hey... we had such big big smiles on our faces, you must have seen that!!We had an amazing time tonight!!! Tusen tak og godnat!!

Goodluck in Germany and Denmark!! Wow, you really have a busy scedule!!

Hilsen,
Bernd og Mireille
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Ye. We didn't come down to europe for vacation you know.
2003-09-08 13:33:30 - skrev/wrote Sie:
I saw their latest gig in the Netherlands at the ZININ festival in Utrecht (Sept, 6 2003).
Everything you can think of to make it a failure was in place. (Playing early in the afternoon, being the third band of the line-up, audience still coming in, irritating feedback from the sound equipment, only having 45 min playing time)
Still it took them 2 songs to get the audience moving. From the newspaper this morning it was stated that the Kaizers concert was the most impressive one of the festival. They earned it to be the headliner not to be the starter.

Attached a link to add to the sound and vision page. There you will see a clip from their appearance on the Lowlands festival and you can listen to the complete Eurosonic gig.

http://3voor12.vpro.nl/3voor12/groups/index.jsp?groups=10206781

Hope to see them again soon!!

SIE
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
We had another gig later that day, that is why we played early in Utrecht. That monitor engineer nearly killed us with feedback, but it was a pretty good show though.
2003-09-08 13:28:23 - skrev/wrote nina-who-now-knows-how-to-count-to-ten-in-norwegian:
takk for the brilliant entertainment in nijmegen last week. amazing show!
and good luck with kickin' the Germans' asses...
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
We will kick it. Indeed we will.
2003-09-17 17:03:19 - skrev/wrote Susi S.:
Hi guys,

Thanks for the great concert in Munich, it was so much fun!
Hope you'll be back for some more concerts in Germany real soon... hmm, let's say, how about next week? =;-) Can't wait!

I took some pictures I'd like to share (http://www.die-aerde.de/Kaizers/), maybe you like 'em, I definitely do... *g*

Looking forward to the next shows ,
Susi
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Cool. We'll check em out.
2003-09-17 16:59:29 - skrev/wrote Truls:
Jeg har aldri vært på Debaser i Stockholm, men det har jo dere. Observerte dere et flipperspill der og hvis så. Spilte dere da på det, eventuelt hvem tok ei kule?

Er det forresten noen store flipperentusiaster i bandet for øvrig?

Hva med cruet?
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Steffen Merchmann er flipper avhengig. Han digget både Stones og Kizz flipperen på Debaser, men stakk ikke av med noen kuler derfra. Han er en ærlig kjeltring fra Svartlamoen.
2003-09-17 16:53:56 - skrev/wrote Mattia:
Hi Kaizers,

this is an italiensk supporter...maybe the first...
I was at the Knaack last week and I have to say that I was impressed by your performance.
I really think you should try to come and play in Italy sometime... even if nobody will understand lyrics (usual problem as you said at the concert).
Good luck og ha det!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Our first two Italian fans came to Hønefoss during the Evig Pint Tour in Norway to see us. I you were not there you are gonna have to settle for third.
2003-09-07 16:34:52 - skrev/wrote Frederic:
Hello

the Kaizers Orchestra was definately one of the highlights of this year's Lowlands festival in Holland!
Festivals are always great to get to know new bands. Although I haven't heard the album yet, reviews in both Holland and Belgium (where I come from) have been very positive so I wanted to 'check it out' - and brought my friends too! :-)
We all loved it and each and every one of us will definately go check out the album this week!

Thanks for a great show and see you soon in Belgium (I hope)

Peace
Frederic, K-town, Belgium
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
That"s cool. See ya in belgium then!
2003-09-07 16:30:37 - skrev/wrote Henning:
OK, et livealbum hadde vært fett, eller en vinylsingel med Die Polizei og Action.

Men det som virkelig hadde vært kult var et om dere lagde et skikkelig Tussler-album. Bare spilte inn et countrya-album. Country-versjoner av låtene deres og deres tolkninger av On the Road Again og sånn.

Men den våteste drømmen jeg har det er en innspilling sammen med Stavanger symfoniorkester, slik dere spilte i Vågen i fjor. Med arrangementer for symfoniorkester. Det er det vakreste jeg har hørt på alle 17 kaizerskonsertene jeg har vært på.

Den symfoniske åpningen av Død manns tango var jo tåretrillende. KUN symfonikere, før Janove kom på med første vers, og så resten av bandet til gitarsoloen før vers 2. Ahhh, vakkert.

Og fiolinsoloen på Sigøynerblod. Det er jo slik Sigøynerblod SKAL være, den skal ha fiolinsolo den!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Tror ikke det finnes opptak av den. Uansett saa kunne vi ikke gitt det ut. Symfonien skal ha ca en milliard kroner for det. Rettigheter og juss og slikt.
2003-09-07 16:27:13 - skrev/wrote Henning:
For å oppsumere da.

ØNSKELISTE:

1. Konsert og/eller utgivelse (liveopptak eller i studio) - Kaizers Orchestra og Stavanger Symfoniorkester.

2. Trippelkonsert - Kaizers Orchestra, Wunderkammer og Cloroform.

3. Blod, Snått og Juling og/eller gnom - intimklubbturne (Mono, Garage, Cementen, etc)

4. Fanklubbkonsert med gamle låter som Bastard, Brolins Box Arrangement, etc.

5. Kaizers' countryalbum a la Tussler.

6. Vinylsingel (7") - Die Polizei / Action.

7. Livealbum. (gjerne en dobbel plate, slike selger som hakka møkk for tiden - en med Ompa til du Tour og en med Evig pint tour)

8. Legge ut sjeldne ting på nettsidene (ellers er jo Dr. Mowinckels akuttmottak og helt sikkert også Resistansen.org gira på å legge ut slike ting! bare å si i fra det!)

Ellers ønsker jeg meg selvfølgelig Live-DVD og nytt album, BS&JS greatest hits, nyutgivelse av mys, samt noe action med Skambankt, men alt dette kommer jo regner jeg med!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Et og annet gaar nok i oppfyllelse skal du se.
2003-09-07 16:25:23 - skrev/wrote :
Hei hei. Mimrer litt tilbake da jeg så et innslag på absolutt underholdning der Geir og terje gikk rundt i Stavanger å hangt opp plakater for ompa cd'en. Det var tider det, tenker jeg!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Det var Geir og Rune, og det var i Bergen, men ja, things have changed.
2003-09-07 16:23:33 - skrev/wrote Joyce Inez:
Hi again,
I've barely recovered from a wild lowlands festival at which I had the privilege to see, no, experience yet another one of your wonderful and energetic shows. I would like to reflect on that if you don't mind. I'm only just a little bit drunk so if it all seems somewhat over the top... well, you deal with it. I loved to see you perform again. It was amazing to witness the crowd going wild at just the slightest jesture. Singing in Norwegian from the top of their lungs, crying "SAVE ME KAIZER" (yes, me to. I didn't know I had it in me). Unbelievable! Jan Ove played the crowd as if it were a little Fox Terrier trying to get a grip on the sock dangling in front of it's nose (odd metaphor, sorry). I was surprised at how much had changed since the last time I saw you (somewhere in June I believe) I guess then you weren't so sure you were going to be such a success. This time the show was wrapped in self esteem, arrogance, vanity and self-satisfaction, and the crowd loved it. Well, I'll be seeing you tomorrow at the Melkweg in Amsterdam.
Please, be careful. Take care of yourself, do not work too hard.
Lots of love.

Joyce Inez
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Thanx for caring. We try to limit the monkeybusiness to the stageperformance.
2003-09-07 16:17:17 - skrev/wrote K&G:
er i tilfredse med udsolgt i DK igen??

For fanden vi glæder os max...

Vi har lært os norsk udtale nu..Vi skal virkelig vise jer vores bedste når i kommer!

rock on.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Vi har det kanon i Danmark vi.
2003-09-07 16:15:42 - skrev/wrote meg...:
morn morn!! jeg bare lurer for jeg har lissom tenkt til å kjøpe mannn mot mann, men butikkene sier at den er for gammel, samme med ompa til du dør. den fins ikke noen steder. har dere noen forslag til hvor jeg kan kjøpe den??? vi snax. ha en vidunderlig aften videre!!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Ompa finnes overalt, men hvis du mener Dod Manns Tango saa kan det vaere den er gone ja. Nettbutikken vaar kan jo sjekkes ut da.
2003-09-07 16:13:20 - skrev/wrote frk. Kaizer:
Hallo dere!
Vet mange har spurt om dette før, men jeg husker ikke svaret: Kommer Gnom-plata ut nå i høst? -Må snart planlegge høstens cd-budsjett...Hehe..
You rock my world!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Det ser slik ut ja. November ca.
2003-09-07 16:11:55 - skrev/wrote :
Fåkkt opp. Det e utsolgt te Århuskonserten den 20. Går det ann å fiksa någe? Eg savne deg jo Terje.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Kom paa den dagen etter heller! Samme sted samme tid.
2003-09-07 16:11:07 - skrev/wrote Marge:
Sitte og hørre på "Stormfull vals" nå. Ingen danse vals som galningen Geir nei? Sko likt å sett. E d virkelig d dokker synge? Stilige sang uansett - d ska dokker ha!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
'"ingen danse vals som gamle Egil Ei" faktisk.
2003-09-07 16:09:03 - skrev/wrote Aseptisk pakket:
Hei.
Kordan går d i utlandet om dagen da?
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Det gaar som fan. Snart halvveis naa.
2003-09-07 16:06:54 - skrev/wrote Siddisen:
hei!
det har seg sånn at eg går på folkehøyskole i Bergen. Og lengte him nå..e det muligheter for at dåkke kan komma te Beregen å spela?;) E det satt opp någen konsert her i nærmaste framtid?
mvh
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Gaa til presselinken, les presseskriv og faa alle svar du trenger.
2003-09-07 16:05:43 - skrev/wrote Marcel:
Tack for syst!! (or how is it what you say in Norwegian)
I just wanted to apologize for the louzy joke last evening at your gig in Amsterdam. I think it was by far the worst thing that night :-). I have never seen a concert as thrilling as yours, and I also think it is a great compliment that those Amsterdam people moved! That's some achievement!
Ompa til ni dor!!!!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
It's takk for sist, but close enough man. Your joke went over our heads but as long as someone laught it's all good. See ya next time.
2003-09-07 16:02:24 - skrev/wrote Silje:
Ein gjeng fra Svithuns musikklinje skal ta turen til Berlin kommende uke, og gjett om me håper det e billetter te konserten dokkes. Med konserten i hodet komme denne turen te å omhandla mer enn bare opera, konsentrasjonsleirer og murer. Ein Kaizerskonsert vil gjør turen leveverdig på alle måter! Vil bare takke for den perfekte timingen:) *smask*
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Siddiser er alltid velkomne. Rock on.
2003-09-07 16:00:51 - skrev/wrote Lena:
Kjära Kaizers Orchestra!
Jag bara gillar er så hemsk mycket!! Jag har inga ord, ni är det besta som har hent sedan Nirvana! Jag lovar er, jag är eran slav! Kommer ni till Östersund i år? Snella?? Jag bara måste se er igjen efter den där fantastiska conserten i Stockholm! Gud, va härligt!!

Eran trofasta fan, Lena.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Cool. Flere svenske giger er i ferd med aa bli bekreftet, saa bare stay tuned.
2003-09-07 15:59:22 - skrev/wrote danny:
i was one of the people lucky enough to see the orchestra perform on lowlands last week. as it was my introduction to the band i have to say that i was blown away! what a band! what a performance! my weekend couldn't have started better than this. dank, dank, dank.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Great show. And check out a club gig if you get the chance!
2003-09-07 15:57:00 - skrev/wrote Den Norske Delegasjon:
Hei! Det er Den Norske Delegasjon som var i Deventer. Skulle bare si at det var en riktig fornøyelse å se dere ta helt av på podiet. Vår nederlandske fan var likedan begeistret. Hilsen!!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Say Halleluja!
2003-09-07 15:56:30 - skrev/wrote kathrine:
halloen!!
hva synes dere om saybia..? hørte at kontroll på kontinentet var saybias ønske-video på svisj..
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Vi har truffet paa dem i utlandet gjennom vaar felles tour manager Bjarke. Fine folk, men ikke saa fine at vi kan spare paa kruttet naar vi skal t dem i paintball i Copenhagen i slutten av sept.
2003-09-07 15:52:05 - skrev/wrote Alice:
Hej Kaizers orchestra!
I really liked your concert on lowlands paradise very much!
I hope you will come more often in the Netherlands! I hope to see you soon and to hear more from you!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Your prayers will be heard woman.
2003-09-07 15:50:17 - skrev/wrote ..:
halla.. vi e et band som har tænkt å vær m i melodi grand prix, for å rock opp derre jævla fjortisfaan popen! dåkkr e bare kongan, så kan dåkr bare hjælp oss litt på vei. Nån gitar riff llr nota hadd vært jævla digg! viss dåkr har tid, send d på mail! rock on.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Dere trenger ikke vaar hjelp for aa ikke komme med der. Det klarer dere fint selv.
2003-09-07 15:49:11 - skrev/wrote Maike:
OH MY GOD! HALLELUJA! Man, you guys saved me alright! Saw you by accident at Lowlands and immediately bought a ticket to see you at Doornroosje, damn, i had a freaking great time guys! And btw, i think u have to come around MUCH MUCH more to pay us back Marco van Basten ;-) ! YEZ!

Big kiss and rock on
Maike, Holland.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
We're just getting started man! Marco didn't go straight to Milan now did he?
2003-09-08 13:45:05 - skrev/wrote :
Hvis man skulle begynne å mase om sånt liksom. Det heter ikke "pumporgan" heller. Ikke at jeg vet hva det heter men hvertfall ikke det.

Men who cares ikkke sant? Tyskere og hollendere kan ikke engelsk uansett.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Det heter pumporgan, saa shut up med deg.
2003-09-08 13:43:22 - skrev/wrote Carline:
Wow!
I went to the Burgerweeshuis in Deventer to see you guys, and that was very, well let's just say incredibly cool... the next day i had to work in a bar at Zinin festival (Utrecht) but needless to say that during Kaizers i just left the bar to the thers and went up front again... I really love this band!

(ow, and, if you ever wonder where the used oil drums go after you leave, i have my TV standing on one now.... :) )
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Cool, take care of it will you.
2003-09-08 13:42:15 - skrev/wrote Bert Beekman:
Hello !

I was at your concert in Utrecht / Holland (the Zinin festival).
Saw you people for the first time. Great great great performance !!
How do I become a CD with your songs ?
Please let me know asap. Greetings from Zwolle Holland !!
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
How to become a cd? Maybe if you swollow the red pill, we don't know, we're not scientists.
2003-09-08 13:40:08 - skrev/wrote Eg:
Offdå.. ikkje møje som skjer på siå dåkkårs fortiå..Kossen går det me dåkkår? Me savne dåkkår dypt! Dessuten har eg visst gått glypp av møje, ska gnom pladå slippas ud? Tøft, for eg har bare ein brent eg..hrmf! Ha ein fortsatt fin turne! Ps Eg e FOR Live-CD! :-D

Mvh Meg
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Ting skjer mest paa engelsk siden for tiden, for obvious reasons.
2003-09-08 13:36:56 - skrev/wrote Mario:
I have been to all 3 concerts in Holland, Lowlands, Deventer (you played just around the corner from where i live) and Tilburg and it was superb. Can't wait to buy the new record. Thanx a lot and good luck with the rest of the tour!

Mario.
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Check the album. It's good shit.
2003-09-08 13:36:08 - skrev/wrote Bernd and Mireille:
This must mean much to you: so much fanmail from Holland. And you deserve this.

We saw you for the first time at the Danish Midtfyns Festival by coincidence and thought: mmm, we'd like to see them if they are going to play in Holland. And you did. At the Lowlands Festival we missed you (ehm, we had to wait for a call to go on stage with Saybia).

But at the Zinin Festival in Utrecht we had the change to see you perform again. We are curious what you must have thought: such a rotten stage, where nobody was save, because everything was shaking and moving! But we had a great time. Okay, the time wasn't okay and the crowd didn't get that wild, but it was absolutely amazing!!!
And then tonight in 013!! That was even better!! The crowd really went wild this time. Well, we didn't like the girls in front of the stage, because that's not us. But hey... we had such big big smiles on our faces, you must have seen that!!We had an amazing time tonight!!! Tusen tak og godnat!!

Goodluck in Germany and Denmark!! Wow, you really have a busy scedule!!

Hilsen,
Bernd og Mireille
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Ye. We didn't come down to europe for vacation you know.
2003-09-08 13:33:30 - skrev/wrote Sie:
I saw their latest gig in the Netherlands at the ZININ festival in Utrecht (Sept, 6 2003).
Everything you can think of to make it a failure was in place. (Playing early in the afternoon, being the third band of the line-up, audience still coming in, irritating feedback from the sound equipment, only having 45 min playing time)
Still it took them 2 songs to get the audience moving. From the newspaper this morning it was stated that the Kaizers concert was the most impressive one of the festival. They earned it to be the headliner not to be the starter.

Attached a link to add to the sound and vision page. There you will see a clip from their appearance on the Lowlands festival and you can listen to the complete Eurosonic gig.

http://3voor12.vpro.nl/3voor12/groups/index.jsp?groups=10206781

Hope to see them again soon!!

SIE
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
We had another gig later that day, that is why we played early in Utrecht. That monitor engineer nearly killed us with feedback, but it was a pretty good show though.
2003-09-08 13:28:23 - skrev/wrote nina-who-now-knows-how-to-count-to-ten-in-norwegian:
takk for the brilliant entertainment in nijmegen last week. amazing show!
and good luck with kickin' the Germans' asses...
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
We will kick it. Indeed we will.
2003-09-17 17:03:19 - skrev/wrote Susi S.:
Hi guys,

Thanks for the great concert in Munich, it was so much fun!
Hope you'll be back for some more concerts in Germany real soon... hmm, let's say, how about next week? =;-) Can't wait!

I took some pictures I'd like to share (http://www.die-aerde.de/Kaizers/), maybe you like 'em, I definitely do... *g*

Looking forward to the next shows ,
Susi
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Cool. We'll check em out.
2003-09-17 16:59:29 - skrev/wrote Truls:
Jeg har aldri vært på Debaser i Stockholm, men det har jo dere. Observerte dere et flipperspill der og hvis så. Spilte dere da på det, eventuelt hvem tok ei kule?

Er det forresten noen store flipperentusiaster i bandet for øvrig?

Hva med cruet?
Og vi svarte / And we answered:
Steffen Merchmann er flipper avhengig. Han digget både Stones og Kizz flipperen på Debaser, men stakk ikke av med noen kuler derfra. Han er en ærlig kjeltring fra Svartlamoen.
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